It's 11:00 pm and I am practically parked on the 405, crawling home at the riveting speed of 2 miles per hour. Yes, I realize that Los Angeles has a well-deserved reputation for being a bastion for traffic nightmares, and that this moment certainly is not assisting in eliminating that (admittedly accurate) perception, but somehow, I don't mind.
I don't mind because I have very intentionally and strategically structured my life to avoid having a commute. Most days, I am not bothered by the stop-and-go, by brakes and squeals, by distressed, maniacal, and questionable drivers. So on the few occasions where the night is calm, where I am not running late, where I have my iPod blasting my favorite jams - this traffic thing ain't so bad. Besides, it's the perfect excuse to ignore the incessantly blinking red light that seems to beacon unremittingly from my Blackberry. I can ignore it without feeling guilty, and that brings me much joy.
In these moments, the only thing I allow myself to do is think. Become introspective. Probe. Question. Ponder. Stare at the sea of lights in front of me and wonder about the world, about my past choices, about my future. And tonight I think I'm doing okay -- on my way towards where I want to be, but secretly hoping I'll never fully get there, wherever there is.
eeeeeeks. i absolutely HATED sitting in DC traffic, even with the music on and/or my favorite person on speaker phone. now my commute consists of dealing with crazies on the metro and people who have no concept of personal space... but, i'd probably say that i am significantly less angry and hot-tempered now, most of the time, haha. that, and i can allow myself to let my thoughts wander off without fear of rear-ending someone! you know how big of a dreamer i am! ;)
ReplyDeleteyour posts make me both happy and sad. happy that we're both (generally) happy. SAD THAT WE MISSED EACH OTHER LAST TIME! whomp. we'll get a chance in the future, though, i hope.