bedtime hours.

Lately I have been going to bed at atrocious hours, somewhere between 1-3 am when normally I would prefer to be knocked out cold by 12 am on a work night.  Part of that has been due to several weeks' worth of equally atrocious work demands, but mostly, I have been heading to bed so late because I've been trying to keep the mister's sleeping hours.   But trying to keep up with him has been a bad idea for many reasons.  I'm not a student; he is.  I can't function on less than 8 hours; he's fine with 5.  I don't want to age prematurely; I'm not sure that's a real concern of his.  

On the weekends where I don't have to work, the lack of sleep catches up to me and I find myself waking up in the afternoon.  While I will defend my right to sleep like a hibernating polar bear until death, the truth is, sleeping in like that only feels good for the first day or two.  Thereafter, I just feel like a bum.  On most days by the time 1 pm rolls around I will have completed what feels like a million tasks; but on my lazy days, I can't even find the desire to crawl out from underneath my blanket.  I transform from being a motivated professional to a complete sloth, and I do not enjoy those slovenly feelings at all.

It has occurred to me that somewhere, somehow, along the way I've grown out of being that hippie college student I've known (and loved) for so many years.  This surprises me.  This unnerves me.  She has been such an important part of my life; I'm not sure I like this change or if I'm ready for it.  Also disconcerting is that I'm not sure if I know how to bring her back, and even if I could, if I would.  A real quandary.